But there was one thing that I was determined to do, and that was reduce our share of food waste going into landfills. We've had some mixed success with this. We're better about eating all leftovers and not letting them go bad. Then again, just two days ago I pulled out our bell peppers to make a delicious Italian-inspired dinner and found mold all over them. Boo! But one step that we did take was to begin composting at home. I had initially been curious about home composting companies like The Compost Crew or Compost Cab - they give you a compost bin to put your food waste in, and come to collect the scraps once a week. You pay for the service, but at the end of the year you get a portion of your compost back to use however you see fit. Charming Assistant, however, was not sold on the idea of paying someone to take out our trash for us. Clearly, further research was required!
After browsing around the Internet and reading You Grow, Girl cover to cover, I decided that worm composting was the way to go. I convinced Charming Assistant that this was something we could do, and he convinced me that we should start small - he didn't want to be responsible for too many worms - what if we didn't create enough scraps to feed them? Their wormy deaths would be on us. So we started out with a Rubbermaid bin that I'd drilled holes into, damp newspaper forming a layer on the bottom, 250 worms, and a week's worth of food scraps. See?
And it went well! The worms seemed happy, we were taking our trash out less, I could see the beginnings of compost forming in the bin. Then came the peaches. We bought some fresh peaches from our local farmer's market, and set them into our fruit bowl in the kitchen. Well, apparently they had fruit flies on them, which we discovered when we walked into our apartment one evening to discover a cloud of them congregating around the peaches. I flipped out. I literally hunted those buggers down by hand, smashing them gleefully in mid-air. I also set out the classic fruit fly trap of a piece of fruit at the bottom of a soda bottle. It seemed to work - their numbers were diminishing and I could cook without worrying about getting some extra unwanted protein in our food.
Then I went to go feed the worms. And another cloud of fruit flies exploded from their bin. Apparently a warm, damp compost bin is just the perfect breeding ground for them, and they'd happily moved on in. Thus began the epic battle. Weekly cleanings of the compost bin to scoop up larvae and dispose of them, constant refreshing of fruit fly traps consisting of apple cider vinegar and soap, and the occasional smashing of a fruit fly that got too close to me. For a while, we were winning.
Then something changed. This week the fruit flies mounted a massive offensive. Their numbers suddenly exploded, and I couldn't even drink a beer without flies trying to get down into the bottle. I sank into despair. Would we have to get rid of the worms? Put the cats in a kennel and spray the place down with Raid? Say fuck it and burn the apartment to the ground? Probably not that last option. Charming Assistant was the level-headed of the two of us. He quite wisely suggested we get a fly swatter, and take care of the problem on several fronts. The traps should be replenished, the compost bin wiped down every few days, and every fruit fly spotted should be killed without mercy.
I have to admit I went a little crazy with the fly swatter. It's a good thing there was no one there to observe me - I was rocking the crazy eyes as I stalked the invaders around our apartment. But oh, it was so satisfying! I felt like Gimli in the Two Towers, gleefully counting out each kill.
It's been a few days since Operation: Exterminate went into effect. I've dutifully cleaned out the bin (god those larvae appear so quickly!) and kept the traps topped off with apple cider and soap. And killed every fruit fly that my swatter could reach. So far, so good - last night, I drank a beer without sticking my thumb down the neck of the bottle. Tonight, maybe I can enjoy a glass of wine without keeping a napkin over it as it sits on the table. Next week, who knows? Maybe we'll have defeated the problem completely!
Meanwhile, I'd like to reassure you that I react very gracefully when a fruit fly collides with my face.
